Friction-Maxxing Isn't New

The 2026 trend for making things harder on purpose has a name from 1989. And it might explain why your Saturday couch marathon never actually feels like rest.

Dear Uncommoners,

It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I spend the whole afternoon gaming on my laptop. Then I do a bit of home workout by following a YouTube yoga video (the irony of exercising to escape a screen, on a screen, is not lost on me). Thereafter, I order dinner in using GrabFood, because by this point cooking felt like a third home workout.

Sounds familiar?

In this hyper convenient world, we are able to get all our needs fulfilled from the comfort of our home. There is no need for us to travel outside for food, entertainment or even to exercise.

The paradox is the place meant for rest and retreat has become the default state rather than the reward, and that leaving it is now the harder, more effortful thing.

_{Garfield © Jim Davis / Andrews McMeel Syndication. Source: GoComics}

Friction-Maxxing

There’s an emerging pushback movement in 2026: “friction-maxxing”. Yes, it sounds like a wellness influencer dared someone to make convenience sound like a personality flaw. But underneath the buzzword, it’s onto something.

Coined by columnist Kathryn Jezer-Morton in January 2026, friction-maxxing is the practice of intentionally choosing less convenient options in daily life to build tolerance for discomfort, resist technology-driven ease, and preserve meaningful human experiences.

But this isn’t actually a new idea. It’s a 2026 name for something sociologist Ray Oldenburg was already arguing back in 1989, in his book The Great Good Place. He called it the “Third Space”.

The Third Space

First space is home: where you live.

Second space is work: where you spend most of your structured hours.

Third space is everywhere else that isn’t obligated: cafes, gyms, places of worship, hobby groups, community centers. Somewhere you go by choice, where you’re not “mum” or “employee,” just yourself among people who share an interest, and who could not care less what time you promised to pick the kids up.

Studies have shown that casual, low-stakes relationships, such as the barista who knows your order, the regular at the same class, the person you chat with at a hobby meetup, do things close relationships can’t. They expose you to new information, opportunities, and perspectives outside your existing circle. Home-bound life tends to shrink this network to near zero.

Oldenburg also argues that third places offer a different kind of psychological register than home: lighter, more playful, less freighted with domestic roles and responsibilities. Without it, home has to carry all the emotional weight. This can make it feel more like a pressure cooker than a refuge, especially for people who also work from home.

The Case for Going Out More

For those of us who love the comfort of our home, this may mean that even though you can get the same (or better) experiences at home, you should deliberately choose to go out.

The other day I was heading out for a run. On my way out, I ran into my next-door neighbour whom I’ve nodded at maybe four times in two years, outside walking a big fluffy white dog.

We ended up standing there for fifteen minutes talking about the dog (pets are the best way to start a conversation!), the new mixed-use condominium being developed near our house, and the various brands of oat milk.

After the run, I went home and searched up the oat milk brand that she suggested.

This may seem unremarkable, but it is how we can get serendipitous new information. Besides, I get to know my neighbour after just 15 minutes of chat. It’s the kind of small connection that makes the neighbourhood seem like a real community.

That’s what a third space encounter looks like on a random weekday, unplanned. But you don’t need to wait for a chance meeting on the street. It can be deliberately organised too.

Well, it’s the long weekend here in Singapore now. Usually for such long weekends, our family tends to just choose to spend it lazily at home.

Instead of doing so, for this long weekend, we have deliberately chosen to organise a gathering with our extended family. A big group of us, gathered together to watch the National Day Parade (NDP), just like we used to do when we were growing up.

Amidst the good food, great company and the background buzz of the NDP parade, I have never felt so connected with my extended family.

So dear readers, what are some times you’ve deliberately resisted the urge of staying at home? Bonus points if a neighbour or an oat milk brand was involved.

Much love,
Brinny

Brinny is a mid-lifer, writing from inside a demanding corporate career and a full life in Singapore. Subscribe for bite-sized wisdom to help you build a happier life and a career you love.